Let's be real

Let's be real.

The space bar on my laptop only works occasionally and the double u doesn't orkatall.

I have one child. That's enough for me. My brain, my energy levels, my ability to organize and plan, they are already stretched thin. And I know approximately what you want to say. It will probably fall into one of two categories. Something along the lines of "God will provide" (Have Faith Anna) or "won't Taz be lonely?" (Be a Good Parent Anna). Nobody is trying to give a guilt trip, I know this, and a lot of advice comes from personal anxiety that one does not have enough faith and one is not a good enough parent. Also, these are thoughts that I am continually evaluating. Is a lack of faith in the world and the universe preventing me from living life to the fullest? Is it getting in the way of my happiness? Is it getting in the way of my having an ideal marriage? Is it keeping me from having good relationships? Is it keeping me from being a good parent? Am I a good enough parent?

Is this even important to wonder? Of course. Evaluating what you are doing and anticipating where behaviors and habits will lead you is critical to getting to a place you want to be (emotionally, financially, socially, physically, take your pick).

Versions of the Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Neibuhr, get passed around social media, and used in motivational speaking quite frequently, if you're not familiar with it, the original goes like this:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

Now,  before you roll your eyes and mutter under your breath something about kitschy quotes that don't have anything to do with current modern life, let's remember that kitsch sticks around for a reason, and I think that reason is that it actually strikes a chord in many people, if they allow it to. Basically, this is saying that some things are worth worrying about and working on, and some things are not.

So how does one come to a place of acceptance while still pursuing progress (personal, educational, relationship, financial, you name it). How do you balance on that fine line of feeling happy, confident, and ready for challenge without falling to either the side of complacently ignoring the need for change or the side of grabbing so much for future enjoyment and stability that the present experience is ruined, not just for yourself but potentially for everyone around you?

I've investigated some suggestions; minimalism, Marie Kondo-ing, yoga, deliberate focus on the present moment, energy work to let go of emotional hangups, medication, saying "no"... actually, I got so good at saying "no" at one point, that it became my reflexive answer for everything, and I realized that it probably wasn't an appropriate answer to the question : "do you ant to hear something interesting?" . I also tried saying "yes" to everything. That wasn't successful either. Just so you know, too much "no" leads to under scheduling and loneliness, and too much "yes" leads to over scheduling and overwhelm.

Here's my opinion:

Schedule. Schedule schedule schedule.

Practice personal follow through.

Reflect.

Get to know yourself.

Practice personal acceptance.

Occasionally, treat yo' self.


If you're reading this, I probably already know you and love you. If I don't know you yet, I bet I'd love you if I met you, that just seems to be how I roll.